Love or just a shag?

A recent survey found the way couples interact is changing. Making love or vanilla sex is very passé and porn is having a huge impact on relationships.

Seventy percent of men aged 18-34 admitted to using porn at least once a month but it is women who are turning to porn more and more. Porn is this changing the way both heterosexual and gay couples inter-act?

Cosmopolitan magazine questioned 68 leading sex and relationship experts about the effects of porn on today’s relationship, and the result was overwhelmingly negative.

Eighty-six per cent of the therapists questioned believe porn has had a negative effect on relationships and ninety percent have seen an increase in relationship problems due to porn in recent years.

As porn is now so easily accessible, Cosmopolitan was also told that ‘vanilla’ sex is becoming less desirable, while porn addiction, once seen a very niche sexual problem, is on the increase.

Almost all the therapists surveyed (94 percent) have seen an increase in incidents of porn addiction and 63 percent believe porn increases men’s expectations of sex with their partner.

Source: Cosmopolitan survey

Vanilla sex or traditional sex is not just about seeking pleasure but giving pleasure, a “self-less” act by both persons. The experience of exploring each other should be a compelling experience and yes, should last a lot longer that porn that is often selfish “an enactment” and a degrading experience for both men and women!

Porn is crushing men’s and women’s confidence in the bedroom and more men are suffering from performance anxiety because, of the ‘impressive’ feats they see in porn, whilst women feel insecure about their bodies and feel pressured to ‘perform’. More and more young people (girls and boys) are learning about sex through porn, and it’s having a devastating effect on their perception of themselves and their bodies.

Both girls and boys have forgetting that sex is about an experience. It starts with a flirt and the excitement builds leading “maybe” to passion and an experience that should be truly self-less and wonderful.


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